Victor Küppers, positive psychology expert: "You shouldn't admire intelligence; you should admire someone for being a good person, because that's an effort."

In the world we live in, we too often put ourselves on autopilot and let ourselves be carried away by presumed qualities beyond our control, such as intelligence . Well, while being intelligent is great, it's not a merit, according to psychology expert Victor Küppers, since it depends on being born that way, not on your efforts .

For this reason, the doctor of humanities, famous for his positive psychology speeches and for being an excellent communicator, invites us to admire those human virtues that arise from each person's determination to become a good person , to empathize and be kind to others. Whether or not you're smart is a genetic lottery ; however, goodness comes from a daily, sustained effort that we must consciously work on over time.

"We are admiring the wrong qualities"

Küppers laments the fact that in today's society we admire the wrong qualities, such as the academic degrees we have, the managerial position we hold, or the amount of money we have. Intelligence also seems to have become a characteristic worthy of admiration, "when in reality it's something that doesn't depend on us, but is a genetic lottery that requires no deliberate effort."

As an example, the expert invites us to reflect: "Would you admire someone for being tall? Or for having small ears?" The answer to this question, in all cases, would be 'no,' since these are traits or attributes that are entirely beyond our control. We have no influence on them; they are 'pre-determined,' not a choice but simply genetic.

Something similar happens with intelligence. Although it can certainly be worked on, it's something we're born with (or not); it's a matter of luck. If we admire intelligence, we'll be giving credit to something the person didn't choose, nor did they strive to achieve or improve. Therefore, Küppers suggests that, instead of admiring it, we applaud the other person for being a good person.

What really makes us valuable?

What the psychology expert proposes is "admire someone who's a good person, because that requires effort." Continuing along these lines, the communicator shares the formula for authentic personal value , which is measured by knowledge (what we know); our skills (what we know how to do); and, above all, attitude (how we approach life).

The key to the courage we should admire lies in combining knowledge and skills and multiplying it by attitude, the true potential we can build upon and advance. Being underprepared at the outset, but adopting a strong attitude toward learning and absorbing everything will achieve infinitely better results than having great innate talent but a negative attitude.

Of course, wanting to be a good person must be a conscious act that is worked on every day : kindness, the desire to help others, treating our fellow human beings well, listening and acting accordingly... respect for these principles is the only thing that truly has value.

Have a clear picture of the person we want to be

Víctor Küppers, an expert in providing illuminating examples, explains the puzzle exercise, which will help us achieve the commendable goal of being good people. "To do a puzzle, you need to see the picture. And when you have the picture, you pick up the piece and you can place it. Without the picture, it's impossible," he says.

To get a picture of our goal, the humanist suggests asking ourselves how we would like others to see us. Surely, what would satisfy us most would be to be described as those kind people who listen, help, and so on, rather than as " very intelligent ." Therefore, projecting this image is key to achieving our goal. "Every day, every decision, and every gesture counts on the path toward the ultimate goal that is truly worthwhile: being good people," Küppers concludes.